☀️Romancing of the Tortured Poet

A February Letter on warm nights, Taylor Swift's Superbowl win, and damn good storytelling…

Mar 01, 2024

Greetings from the front seat of my car-turned-office parked in front of my house at 4:30 PM on this bonus day of February.

I’m hiding in here knocking out this letter with the tap of my fingers not willing to go inside because I’m afraid I’ll take off my shoes, face plant into my bed, and never wake up. It’s the end of a long work day at the end-ish of a long week of solo parenting at the end of an even longer month of all of the things. With each of these letters I write to you, I like to find the best story from this month, and with 7.5 hours and counting left in this month, I’m trying real hard to find February’s story.

If I’m being honest, and I really like to do that here, February kicked my rear.

It does every year, what with Valentine’s Day expectations, a sprinkling of no school days to manage, two birthdays including parties, an annual cross country ski travel weekend, and so on. If that wasn’t already a lot of extroverting, this year I added three full days a week of chatting with people all day in my new little work thing I’m doing sending my social capacity tank to a big fat blinking E. If I’m not careful I’m going to run this car fully into the ground without realizing it until the engine starts to slow down on the middle of the road until I come to a complete stop and now I have to do the walk of shame and buy one of those little red gas tank thingies only the thing is the gas station is a mile away but I have two big blisters on my feet from having just gone cross country skiing for the first time this season and oh by the way I’m still wearing my ski boots and only a light vest in 35 degree weather and Mike is an hour away with the kids so I have to call an Uber to help me get to the gas station and back and also ask the Uber driver to help me figure out how to dump the gas into my tank because I’m a weak woman with no hand strength but at least I know how to leave a good tip. Just metaphorically speaking, of course. Not at all based on real events from this month.

But that’s not the story I want to tell. What I’m thinking about is a Friday night in February. It was one of the many unusually warm days we would be weirdly blessed with this month. But it was the first so it felt kind of magical. The kids were occupied (i.e. staring at screens) and I had just mixed up a cocktail for two (see recipe below) and Mike suggested we do something so wildly crazy for a Friday night in February.

“Let’s go sit on the porch!”

Scandalous. It really felt that way though. Like we were slipping away on a tropical vacation for a half hour. I’ll take it.

It was early February. The insanity of the month was only a horizon ahead. We chatted for a bit about the usual things couples talk about–work, kids, Taylor Swift’s recent announcement about an upcoming album release and what her brutally honest songwriting choices say about artistic freedom. But then, probably sensing the minutes left in our magical night fading as the sun slipped away behind the homes across the street, we both grew quiet, letting the chatty birds and the clink of ice in our cocktail fill the space between us. I think we were both afraid to break the spell, as if silence held the magic in the air like static.

Mike spoke first. “I can’t believe this spring weather. It just feels like…”

I filled in the words for him.

“Hope.”

But at the same time he finished his own thought.

“Baseball season.”

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “You would say ‘hope,’ you tortured poet.”

I might have argued with him that for many years “hope” was the defining word for every Cubs fan (see this essay for proof), but I was too busy fawning over the romance he just draped me in.

He called me a tortured poet. Bats eyes. Swoons into a puddle.

I carried that small love letter with me all month. To be seen by the one you love as the poetess who, despite the torture that lies ahead for her in that month, is still insistent upon finding the hope, now that is true romance. Cowboy take me away.

But also his declaration made me want to keep trying. Even when it was hard. Even when the kids didn’t have school AGAIN. Even when I was so tired from extroverting all day and yet had to dig deep to find a few more hours to listen to three kids talk over each other at dinner telling me about their day.

Through all of that, I remembered the cute guy I had drinks with who believes one of my annoyingly adorable traits is I will always find hope. And then make a story out of it.

And so I did.

Whether you’re a the lover of baseball or relentless hope seeking, I hope your February was filled with tortured poems and magical nights. And if it wasn’t, well, this tortured poet believes there is still hope.

SPEAKING OF…

a series where I string together all the things I’ve been meaning to tell you.

Much like my February is every year, it’s wild, it’s cozy, it’s a lot like Taylor and Trav (and Usher, don’t forget him!) at the Super Bowl.

Also if you’re new here, HIIII! This is the section where I have a bunch of things to tell you and I usually pair it with a GIF theme. This month’s theme was obvious.

Speaking of Taylor Swift…

(Aren’t we always?)

If you are looking for two of the sweetest, funniest, overall most adorable super Swifties on the internet, then you should follow Bonnie and Emily of Chats & Reacts. Their enthusiasm and joy for music is utterly delightful. I love their reactions to new albums and this reflection on the new album theories has me all sorts of excited for the new album, as they refer to it, “Tortured f$%#ing what now?”

Want more conversation and freak outs from another pretty cute duo of Swifties? My brother and I have had a blast this last month over on Swift and Swigs. Our shock over the new album was quite unhinged. Truly this entire month has been unhinged in the Swiftie world. We are not ok and we love this.

Speaking of unhinged, much of my February was trying to make sense of Taylor Swift winning her first Superbowl.

While I’m still wrapping my head around it, this article in the Athletic explaining football with Taylor Swift songs was fantastic. Also I’d like it to go on record here that when I saw the headline, I connected Dear John to Aaron Rodgers. This is the duo you didn’t know you needed.

Speaking of great duos…

My friends Molly and Amy both got me interested in Mike Birbiglia’s podcast Working it Out. And I think both of them have gushed over the episode with Elyse Myers. I finally got around to listening and I wish I hadn’t waited so long. This is a duo I want more of. So much gold in this episode about storytelling.

Speaking of good storytelling…

In this month of love, I always adore reading different love stories. I’m a sucker. Some of my favorites this month also happened to include some damn good storytelling elements I for one am ticking away in my writer notes.

Like this one by

Katie Blackburn

about the definition of single. Or this one by

Lindsay Sledge

that weaves a passion of reading into a love story. And this one by

molly flinkman

who takes my biggest nightmare–mice–and sets a scene that makes me almost think they’re cute. Almost. I was also honored to share my own love story that–surprise, surprise–includes Taylor Swift.

In longer form love stories, I absolutely adored Hello Beautiful. It captivated me the same way Tom Lake did. I wanted to stay with these characters forever. The storytelling was so stunning. I wrote so many quotes down.

Speaking of other things I love…

(ok, listen, not my best segway, but my mind likes to go where it wants to go)
Daci Jaye
wrote this on finding your taste and I’ve been thinking about this so much lately. Nearly every home decor image I pin these days is filled with color. I want color all over my home. But do I really? And how can I even define my taste when the algorithm still has such a vice grip on what I see? I don’t know these answers.
But I do know I loved this home tour, and not just for the style elements–those chairs! the wallpaper ceilings! those green walls!–but because of this quote in the end.
“I want to use whatever power I have so that my daughter doesn’t have to deal with this shit — and so we can thrive as a family, and think about fun things like our house, instead of our basic rights and dignity.”

Speaking of style…

I’m certain I’ve linked this lip shine before but it’s worth another go. I just love it. I feel polished and glowing whenever I use it. It doesn’t have lasting power but it works like a chapstick so I can put it on all day. My shade is happy but they all look lovely. Might need to add another one to the mix.

I’ve got spring break plans to the beach (Texas or bust!) and I decided after 8 years of wearing the same suit it was time to add a new one to the mix. Everyone seems to love this quality brand from Summersalt so I’m finger crossing it works for me, too. I went with color!

Until then I’ve been living in this sweatshirt I stole from my mom last weekend (similar.) Unfortunately my version is dark gray but this dupe I linked comes in a ton of colors so I might need to get another. It’s the coziest thing I own in my closet. I’m so grateful to have a job where I only see clients once a week so no one is the wiser when I wear the same thing every day.

Speaking of cozy…

(we were, right?)

Some good stuff we cooked this month included this Salmon with Garlic Butter and Tomatoes and it was easy enough to make salmon and tomatoes separately so everyone (i.e. the kids who consistently utter EWWWW when salmon is involved, or whole tomatoes for that matter) was happy.

Also, we love our homemade pizza Fridays. I always make the pizza sauce and for some reason it never occurred to me to make a giant batch and freeze it. This recipe I found in my new favorite Substack is a great one and made sooooo much. I’m set for months.

Speaking of Friday nights…

This cocktail I speak of in my letter above? It was this tasty one paired with Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car,” which is not just a great song but now one of my most favorite performances.

When I’m not drinking cocktails, I have also been enjoying this NA Bittersweet Apertivo with sparkling water and a squeeze of orange as a nightcap following a cocktail.