☀️It's the Journey not the Destination and other Cliches We Don't Want to Believe

A January Letter on Christmas and Birthdays and Magic Salt…

Is it ok if I talk about Christmas for a minute? I know, I know. It’s the last day of January. I’m supposed to be talking about clean slates and smoothie recipes or something like that. I just have a few thoughts on Christmas that need to be said. I promise I’ll come around to January.

I’ve always been a Big City Christmas kind of girl. The hustle and bustle of a city just becomes jolly when tucked between giant twinkly trees and festive window scapes. This time last year when the idea of moving back to Chicago became more real, to distract ourselves from the stress of it all, we thought about Christmas in Chicago. We talked about how much fun it would be to bring the kids into some of favorite memories from Christmas celebrated all the way back to our early dating years 20 years ago.

We have to take Leo to see Mickey in the Light Parade! Elliott will lose his mind riding the Holiday Train. Oh, and the windows at Marshall Fields¹?! Caroline’s going to LOVE that!

It’s the whole reason we go through all this trouble for Magic Making™ at the holidays in the first place, right? Bringing specific joy to our children is one of the highlights of parenting.

To make all this happen, we also discussed how important it was for us to live near the train. If we were going to call Chicago home² we wanted to live the adventure the right way. City transit gets a lot of complaints these days with budget cuts impacting consistency and safety. But it still matters to us, and not because we love riding a stinky train car that wobbles side to side like a ship at sea (thank God I discovered this). It matters because of that very specific feeling that happens walking up the subway stairs into the open air of skyscrapers and sound and momentum, anticipation beating along with the swell of traffic on your way to something exciting. Like Christmas in the City.

And sure enough, in a last ditch effort to end a really hard year with a bit more magic, I did not hold back. We hopped on a train every weekend in December and made sure we did each and every one of our Christmas in the City wishes.  We waved to Mickey at the Light Parade. We oohed and ahhed at the window displays before warming up with hot cocoa and gluhwein at the Christkindlmarket. We road with giddy delight on the Holiday Train filled with lights and song and cinnamon smells. And every bit of it all was just as magical as I dreamed it would be. 

What I didn’t anticipate, though, was the time before all of the magic. Because the thing about using public transit to get anywhere is there is A LOT of waiting. There’s the walk to the station, the wait on the platform, the thirty minute train ride, and then another walk to get to the destination. Sometimes the time spent traveling to and from the adventure is more time than the adventure itself. It would be easy to see that time as filler, the annoying in between of home and adventure. I thought this time would be the hardest for us. As it turns out, this is the part I keep thinking about the most. 

I think about the way the kids skip down the sidewalk, rushing for their first peak of the platform looking down from the top of East Avenue bridge to see if we need to rush to catch the next Blue Line at Oak Park Station. I think about the games we play to pass the train ride, like twenty questions or counting pull ups on the handle straps at each station. I think about the ways my kids are learning to navigate turnstiles, subway tunnels, and transfer maps. I think about the people we’ve met while waiting or riding. 

We know there is so much life to be had on an adventure. But I think I want to remember the ways in which we arrive to an adventure, or maybe when we leave one behind. Life happens in the transit, as well–connection, anticipation, patience, curiosity. Those pathways matter. And at the risk of spouting off a terribly obnoxious eye-roll inducing cliche beloved by road tripping dads everywhere, I’m just going to say I’m taking this reminder into my New Year.

Anyway, I guess we came around to a January-esque post after all. Thanks for indulging me. Hope your pathway into the New Year has been one that matters to you.

Cheers!

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SPEAKING OF…

a series where I string together all the things I’ve been meaning to tell you.

Let’s not waste any time blabbing and just get this journey started, shall we?

Speaking of journeys…

My podcast celebrated a big milestone this month!

Happy Birthday to Swift and Swigs with Sibs!

If I gave out Oscars to my year, this podcast adventure would win in so many categories.

Best Successful Attempt at Doing Something When I Had No Idea What I Was Doing But Did it Anyway, Best Consistency with a Project (Recorded an episode EVERY WEEK!), Best Laughs, Best Cries, Best Aha Moments, Best Cocktails Created, Best Excuse to Listen to Incredible Music, Best Creative Collaboration (love you bro), Best Cross-Over of all of my Favorite Things, and finally, most importantly, Best Guaranteed Moment of Joy in the Midst of a Really Hard Season.

Not listened yet? Want to know where to begin? Here are some of my favorites:

The Love Triangle Series of August/Betty/Cardigan

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been cross-posting the episode show notes over on this platform mostly because I want to keep all of my creative projects in one place. #writerslife. I hope you’ll follow along and share the love of good music.

Speaking of good music…

This month I rediscovered my favorite Alicia Keys album as it celebrated its 20 year anniversary. For more Alicia Keys, you might enjoy this conversation about her creative process. And this episode of Song Exploder is so good.

In other music I’ve loved, I discovered Samantha Irby makes fantastic playlists. This winter one is full of great new sexy/cool/chill listens.

Speaking of Listening…

One of my children really loves me, like a whole lot. And thus has lately been waking with me so as to spend more time together. Love this for him.

Don’t love this for my need for quiet in the morning. What I did discover one frustrated morning is story read aloud playlists on Spotify. Pair that with my favorite headband headphones and 60% of the time it works every time. In parenting math, that’s magic.

Speaking of Magic…

I discovered Magical Unicorn Salt from a recommendation from Samin Nosrat as a great foodie gift. I bought a bunch for stockings and added one to my stocking, too. I’ve added it to everything from salad to veggies. It really is magical.

Speaking of Veggies…

It wouldn’t be a January letter if we didn’t talk about our increased vegetable intake, amiright?

I’ve always loved vegetable forward recipes. But lately my cooking has been what the french call les incompetents. I just haven’t had it in me to be creative. And often lack of creativity leads to easy meat meals I know the kids like.

Well, screw the kids!

(Sorry, that was intense. Don’t tell them I said that.)

What I meant to say is my body is revolting. I’m leaning back into the veg aisle and the kids can just deal with it, and eat a big breakfast.

That being said, this sloppy lenny got two thumbs up (i loved mine over a sweet potato) as does this popular cheesy taco beans (a cousin of pizza beans, also a fave). And Mike and I loved this spicy pasta for date night. It’s like a cozy winter version of our favorite fresh tomato pasta we eat over and over in the summer.

Speaking of recipes…

I also got two new kitchen gadgets—an air fryer, admittedly because I knew it would look cute on my counter, and a super big slow cooker that retired mine from 15 years ago. I’m leaning into learning how to use these to make meal prep during the week more positive and successful for our busy weeknight lives. But it also means I am seeking favorite recipes. Send me yours! Any cookbooks you love? I’m trying to cook more from cookbooks because food blogs with pop ups are evil.

Speaking of busy weeknight lives…

I went back to work. Wait…that feels not nearly dramatic enough. Let me try that again.

I WENT BACK TO WORK!

It’s an event that feels like it deserves a post all on its own. I’m working on it. For now, I’ll give you the short answer that I’ve been giving people when they ask how it’s going…great! I feel more myself than I have in…awhile. Hard to quantify it. But regardless this feels like the exact next right thing. A challenging new thing to balance. But also an old thing that feels right, right now. I wrote a bit about it here.

My return to work had me thinking back to this piece by Sonya about going back to work. And I especially appreciated this essay by Lorren not just because it included one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs (she weaves it in expertly) but because of the honest vulnerability she shares helping to inform my work supporting parents and children as a developmental therapist. Stories connect us in so many different ways.

Speaking of stories…

I’m trying to make this year a better year for reading. What has mostly sustained me this January is Jenny Colgan. Her books are as funny as they are charming but mostly they’ve been throwing me into planning a trip to Scotland as soon as possible. The ones I have finished this month are: The Christmas Bookshop / The Bookshop on the Corner / The Bookshop on the Shore. So books about books in Scotland is my aesthetic. Give me all your recommendations.

Speaking of Planning a Trip…

I’ve been off-ish the sosh meeds since Christmas. I say “ish” because every now and then I pop over to see something and then I catch something else, you know how it goes. My reason for being off-ish is difficult to understand but on one of my pop-overs I saw Stacy say this and I felt like she nailed it.

Now before you go and think I’ve been doing amazing things whilst breaking from the scrolling, I’ll just admit replacing much of my need to consume with Substack reading. I’ve loved the poetry roundups in this one. I find these essays reflecting on the questions Carrie asks on Sex and the City FASCINATING, despite not being in the target audience at all³. I also recently became a paid subscriber to this Cocktail account because I was just so darn curious about his recipes and I do not regret it. I just really love reading about cocktails.

But ACTUALLY what I wanted to say when I said speaking of Scotland (wow REALLY going on tangents today) was I replaced my time scrolling with vacation planning. Hunting for the best BnBs and ideal itineraries in little corners of England is giving me so much joy. I suppose you can say I’m enjoying the journey as much as the destination. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

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I feel the best way to leave you today is with a question of sorts. This one from Kate DiCamillo’s The Magician’s Elephant.

[Leo] opened his mouth, and spoke two simple words. He said “What if?”

The magician said raised his head then and looked at Leo. “What if?” he said. “‘What if?’ is a question that belongs to magic.”

“Yes,” said Leo, “to magic and also to the world in which we live everyday. So: what if? What if you merely tried?”

The Magician’s Elephant

See you in February, friends.

1. I know it’s Macy’s now but I’m still an OG Marshall Fields girlie.

2. So technically Oak Park, but we still say Chicago. I wonder how long that will last?

3. 20/30 somethings in the dating world.